Hi again..

Sorry it's been so long! I was doing so well with this for a while then life got sort of "big" -

I am posting a devotion that I wrote for our worship team. God and I have been in serious discussion about our relationship this week- turns out my focus has not been properly directed even though I have been heavily counseling others to be aware of this very thing. Through some rough patches in ministry and some internal battling- as well as words of truth through a friend that I love and trust yesterday, hopefully we are back on track...

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King Solomon, one of the wealthiest men who ever lived, had everything he wanted. Yet he went on a binge, trying to satisfy his appetites with the wrong things. He went after passion. He went after possessions. He went after things of beauty and buildings and land. Here was his conclusion: “Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; and indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:11).

"Everything else in life is secondary to knowing and loving God—your career, your family, and even your ministry. Those things are all important. But the first and foremost purpose you have in life is to know the God who made you." ( Chris Jarrell)

I have been thinking about the fact that every one of us is created with a void in our hearts that can only be filled with God, and how we spend so much time and energy trying to fill it with other people and things. Relationships, work, material things.. even ministry- sometimes I am guilty of allowing my busyness consume me. My family needs things that can’t be delayed, especially my kids.. so I minister to those needs. There are many people God has placed in my life that need nurturing and caring for, so that takes priority. I "get to" my devotion and quiet time the same way- as if checking things off a to do list… even when I caution others not to do that. At the end of the day… I am left feeling alone, depleted and starved because although I have done the work, taken care of others, ministered , and even read His word that morning and prayed--something is missing. Was I facedown? Did I hunger enough for God to pay any real attention to Him that day?? The question I must ask myself at the end of every day is this: Is my relationship with God stronger this evening for having spent enough time facedown with my Savior, my Creator, the love of my life and the lover of my soul? If I cannot answer this question with a resounding YES, then I need to re-evaluate my priorities.


I began this devotion this morning after my quiet time, knowing that there had been a few things He was laying on my heart without knowing where He was going with them. In the middle of my writing time, I had a visit from a precious friend.. someone who’s insight I value and esteem greatly. During her visit, one of the things she spoke into my life was this truth: "In the end, it’s all about you and Him.. and that’s IT. Nothing else in this world matters as much as that matters."

While I have “known” this, my heart had not been aching enough to LEARN it- until the past couple of months. God has caused that void in my heart to ache so hard, and so far down, that for me to even begin to allow God in, I have had to give up so much control of myself-- and found myself decreased to the point of total surrender and worship- and that I willingly fall to my face before God and beg Him to begin to fill the hole in my heart.. and I understand that longing in my soul can only be met by Him increasing in my life. I must make that time with Him count. I must be on my face before the Lord. Otherwise I am not growing, I am not learning and my heart is sore, depleted and empty before I know it.

That is my prayer for each of us- that we would ache desperately enough to seek Him on our knees, even on our faces – and model that for the people we lead into His presence. I pray that this is what His people see in worship at Lifecoast Church. I pray that we each can find time to allow God to get in there deeply enough so that when we lead others in worship, we lead, then move out of the way so that their time with God can "count"... and eventually that will seep into their lives Monday through Saturday as well. I believe He wants it to count every single day- and He will bring us to our knees repeatedly for this to sink in.

I am so thankful we have a God who loves like that..

Blessings,
Cheryl

A different kind of post..reflections on three year old ballerinas

Good morning.

I am taking a break from normal programming today to talk about something I did yesterday that may have changed me forever.

I volunteered to be a backstage "Helper Mom" for Savannah's dance class, and also help out with the other two preschool age classes. There are 8 of us in something called the "Black Box Theater Room" with these children.

Yesterday was the dress rehearsal. Tonight is the actual recital.

I taught kindergarten for several years, and taught other ages from 4 year olds through 9 year olds for ten years. I have also been teaching my own at home since Watson was 7. He is now 13. There are 7 little girls in this dance class who are participating in the recital. "How bad could it be?? I get three free tickets!" FREE!! I love free !!

Oh. My. Goodness.


Let me ask you a question. Have you ever been sequestered in a room with 25 or so 3, 4 and 5 year old little girls for say, three or four hours? Only having one little girl at home, I like the way she approaches the world. She has a dancer's heart.. and she twirls , hops, flips and dances her way through the main part of her day. This is cute to me, especially after having two boys who did nothing like that. She is also much quieter than the boys were. I really like that about her. I could go on and on about the things I like about my daughter... and yesterday she was one of about 5 who actually behaved. God smiled on me where she was concerned.

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon..

25 little girls in makeup and full costume for the dress rehearsal. Hair in buns, lipstick applied.. anxious Moms backstage who were fussing with this or that on their girls, not wanting to leave them in the care of the capable helper moms- and 8 helper moms , armed and ready to entertain, fix, and care for these little ballerinas. ( I will say this.. they WERE ALL PRECIOUS.)

I am going to spare you the gritty details of what happened next, but I will say this: Nothing has ever stopped my heart like a little girl named Tori did yesterday when she refused to come off the little mini stage in the holding room, in her costume, then announced "Miss Cheryl, Imma FWIP!" and before I could get to her, she FWIPPED off the end of the platform. It was at the end of a long afternoon with Tori.. Tori led the ballerina rebellion during Savannah's class performance and had three other wayward dancers following her lead as she ran circles around the girls who were trying to dance. Tori was the one who announced the need to "GO DO POO" as we were lined up JUST about to go on for the finale..and there was more.. much much more- but the "fwip" was the end of the rope for Miss Cheryl.

Tori's mother did not come to get her until 6 o clock. All the other girls were gone by 5:30.. but bless Tori's heart, she was tired, firsty and "all wored out" and finally sitting and quietly watching a movie when her Mommie got there at 6. I had been with Tori since 3 o clock, and Miss Cheryl was also "all wored out".

After bath time , cuddle time ( I think I forgot to eat last night), Miss Cheryl went to bed at 9 o clock. I feel much better for tonight.. round 2- the recital.

Pray that Tori does not feel like fwipping. Pray also that her potty needs are met before she is lined up to go onstage. Pray for God to give me enough grace to be sweet no matter what happens..

By the way, next year I will be paying for my tickets.
:)

Love to all,
Cheryl